(I’m sick. I have deadlines. Pardon the brevity.)

Things are hectic around these parts.  Between family, writing and teaching gigs, and micro-blogging on Twitter (from my personal account and for CoParenting101), I don’t post here very much.  But when I do, I try to share some good news and thoughts about my journey.  So I was especially appreciative when Cynthia who blogs at Knowledge Maven stopped by with birthday wishes and to let me know that she’d nominated this blog for a Liebster award.  “Liebster” means “beloved” in German, and the award is meant to bring more attention to blogs with fewer than 200 followers.  The award comes with a request to pay it forward, which I will gladly do in a sec.  First, many thanks to Cynthia, and I’m glad to point to this fellow mama-writer’s blog with its wonderful reflections on faith, family, and culture.

As I mentioned, this award comes with a few duties:

1. Show thanks to the blogger who gave you the Award by linking back to them. [CHECK]

2. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment at their blog. [WILL DO]

3. Post the Award on your blog. [[CHECK]

4. Enjoy the love of some of the most supportive people on the Internet!  [WOOT!]

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I’m not exactly sure how many followers each of my 5 Lieber nominees has, but they are all blogs that I appreciate and that I hope will be read more widely than they currently are:

Second Chance: http://kizzypreston.blogspot.com/

My Polar Opposite: http://mypolaropposite.com/

Carolyn Edgar: http://carolynedgar.com/

Soulstainable Living http://www.soulstainableliving.com/

Bernadette Davis http://bernadettedavis.wordpress.com/

Happy reading!

From Publisher’s Lunch

Deesha Philyaw and Michael Thomas’s CO-PARENTING 101: Advice from a Formerly Married Couple on Parenting Across Two Households, the first book co-authored by a divorced couple for whom co-parenting is central to their daily lives, providing expert advice, practical tips, and tried-and-true tactics developed from real life co-parenting experiences, to Melissa Kirk at New Harbinger, for publication in 2013, by Danielle Chiotti at Upstart Crow Literary(World).

Please do yourself a favor and check out the latest addition to my blogroll, For Harriet. The site’s tagline says it all: Celebrating the fullness of black womanhood.  The content is smart, thoughtful, and edifying.  I don’t come away from it feeling like, “Heard it all before…” or “We need to do better…”  I come away from the articles challenged, encouraged, and informed.  There’s no shortage of folks talking about and at black women; For Harriet is the conversations we have with ourselves, our best selves.

So, not that I needed anything else to play with, but…I now have a Tumblr.  See/hear/feel it.

Check out our groovy flyer at the link below for details. (I’ll wait.)

Like it? Then sign-up (and get even more details) here:

And don’t forget to tell a friend!

Space is limited.

You can read it here.

“2010 Co-Parenting Resolutions” from my column at The Faster Times: These are still fresh for ’11!

This morning, I received an email from a fellow mama-blogger who was reaching out to her mailing list to share a password-protected post and to ask if we thought she should make it public.    It was obvious just from her email and the title of the post that she was feeling vulnerable, and understandably so.  But a friend had suggested to her that she share her story because her words might be able to help someone else.  I read the post and felt moved to leave the following comment:

Dear ________________:

Like a lot of women, I sometimes fall into the trap of assuming that everyone else has it all figured–everyone but me. So I think your post serves as a reminder that 1) everyone struggles, 2) healing is possible, and 3) shame is a hindrance to healing.

We hide our stuff for all sorts of reasons, but the shame can keep us from moving forward because we start to internalize shame’s dark message and because we don’t allow people who care about us to help us because we’re embarrassed to tell them what’s really going on in our lives. As clichéd as it is, telling the truth really does set you free AND it shames that old devil…shame.

That said, there’s a time and a place for everything.  While I am thankful that shame currently has no hold on my life, I do have stories yet to tell…but now’s not the time.  And there are stories that I will take to the grave, or share only with a select few.  There is a time to shine a light on darkness in order to lead ourselves out of it–and then there are times when a situation calls for discretion.  It’s a personal call.  But for sure…if shame is a factor, it’s time to tell the truth, if only to yourself about what you’re going through.

I’ve watch shame eat away at the lives of people I love.  This is one reason shame is not part of my parenting repertoire.  I don’t ever want my children to be motivated by shame or guilt, especially not tied to me.  They deserve to live free.