Say your resident football fan(atic) is driving home from the gym and calls you to find out the score of The Game. You know…THE Game, whatever game is on that’s he’s missing, and the score of which he needs to know right away. Maybe he’s come to grips with the fact that, in his absence, you are not watching the game. Or maybe he hasn’t. Either way…you probably aren’t watching the game. So what’s a Football Widow (FW) to do?
You could Google. They offer somewhat NFL timely score information. But if you really want to earn your FW stripes, you’ll go to NFL.com/scores, and your subsequent conversation will go something like this:
Fanatic: Hon, what’s the score of the game?
FW (clickety clack): Giants, 38; Cowboys 20. 5 minutes 14 left in the 3rd quarter, 3rd down and 8, on the Dallas 16.
It doesn’t matter that you only actually understand 75% of what you just said. It’s all in the delivery…casual, confident.
Fanatic (appreciative and impressed): Thank you, Most Beautiful.
Continue to refresh your screen and provide current scores until he arrives home. By then, he will have promised all manner of sexual favors in appreciation. While you won’t be able to collect on these until after the game is over (unless you don’t mind sharing time with the TV), it’ll be worth the wait.