Mamalicious!

Your Hands

“I’m writing a poem in my head right now,”
I tell you this morning as you brace me
and embrace me
to make love.
“A poem about your hands,” I whisper,
“About what they are doing…
…right now. And what they did yesterday,
and how your hands tell my body’s story,
how your hands tell the story
of us.”

When you put your hands there–
right there—I get this poem’s opening line.
And when your hands travel, slowly,
over me,
each stanza is written.
Your fingers find my mouth,
and I know how this poem will end.

Your hands carry memories:

First date: We held hands walking in Chinatown,
grinning at each other as the December wind whipped across our faces.

Toronto: You lie and tell me that you can ice-skate.
Outdoor skating rinks in Canada—or at least this one
—don’t have walls or rails for you to hold on to.
Your gap-toothed smile belies how graceless you are.
I offer to hold your glove-clad hand.  You refuse, saying:
“Does Superman let Lois Lane hold his hand when he’s flying?”

My confession: “Because of my mother…”—I don’t have to say the rest—
“…I’m scared to do my breast exams.  You have to be here.” And your hands
steady my hands, keep them from faltering.

Last night: Your hands zipping BabyGirl’s jacket,
protecting her from another December’s wind and cold

Your hands, right now
Hammering, pounding, fixing
Honey-do-ing
The list of man-hand chores
I save for when you come.

Your hands repair what’s broken
Your hands replace what has been lost
Your hands set things right.

Your hands make me remember,
20 years ago, college me
Barely a woman me,
Listening to Toni Morrison read
the last lines of her
then-unpublished book “Jazz”
at Yale’s Battell Chapel.
She made me cry because
I was afraid that I would never be loved
like that.
Like this:
“Say make me, remake me. You are free to do it and I am free to let you because look, look. Look where your hands are now.”

Deesha Philyaw,  2009

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 13th, 2009 at 10:18 am and is filed under Back in the Day, Cool Stuff, Long-Distance Love, Love 101, Wordsmithin'. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.